Christmas tomfoolery

How does Good King Wenclesas like his pizza?
Deep pan, crisp and even!

Who dresses up in wrapping paper and frightens Ebeneezer Scrooge?
The Ghost of Christmas Present!

Scrooge appears in "A Christmas Carol" by Charles Dickens

What happens if you eat Christmas decorations?
You get tinselitis!

Why does Father Christmas carry an umbrella?
Because of the reindeer!

Why do we put a fairy on top of the Christmas tree?
Because elephants are too heavy!

What's top secret and covered in pastry?
A mince spy!

ABCDEFGHIJKMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ
-- what's Christmassy about that?
Noel!

Why does Santa Claus have ducks on his sleigh?
They're Christmas quackers!

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Christmas carrots

We don't always get the words right when we're singing songs. Here are some of our favourites from Christmas concerts.

"We three kings of porridge and tar..."

"Oh Wayne in a manger..."

"On the first day of Christmas my tulip gave to me..."

"Noël, Noël, Barney's the King of Israel!"

"...Oh what fun it is to ride with one horse, soap and hay!"

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Things to do and make

You'll find Christmas craft tables in most of our libraries this month. Why not see what you can make?
Thanks to everyone involved in getting everything together for the craft tables and a special big thanks to Barbara for making so very many cut-out shapes for us.

Christmas craft books in our libraries.

We bumped into this page with links to lots of fun things to do for Christmas

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Wednesday afternoon riddles

It's drizzly weather and I've got a really bad cold so I need cheering up with some daft riddles. Let me know if you've got any that are as silly -- click on "comments" to tell me them.

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Q: Why don't ducks fly upside-down?
A: They'd quack up!

Q: Do restaurants serve crabs?
A: Yes, so long as they can pay the bill afterwards!

Q: What's the difference between an oak tree and a tight shoe?
A: One makes acorns, the other makes corns ache!

Q: What's yellow and stupid?
A: Thick custard!

Q: Where were English kings usually crowned?
A: On the head!

Q: What's the best cure for insomnia?
A: A good night's sleep!

(One for the oldies...)
Q: If King Midas sat on gold, who sat on silver?
A: The Lone Ranger!

Q: What's yellow and always points north?
A: A magnetic banana!

Q: What has 16 legs, a bra and whistles through the woods?
A: Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs


Books of riddles in our libraries

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Hallowe'en fun

We've lots of spooky books for you to read this Hallowe'en...

• Hallowe'en stories


• Ghosts and ghoulies and monsters


• Information books about Hallowe'en

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Who loves a monster?
His ghoulfriend!

What's got twelve legs, three tails and one eye and smells horrible?
Three blind mice and half an old kipper!

Why do you always find demons and ghouls together?
Because demons are a ghoul's best friend!

Why was the witch late for the party?
She'd lost her witch-watch!

What happened when the ghoulie met the ghostie?
It was love at first fright!

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Why did my granny knit me three socks?
Because my mum told her I'd grown a foot since I last saw her!

Which king was small, brown and woody?
William the Conker!

What's got twelve legs, three heads and wings?
A man riding a horse with a wasp on his shoulder!

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What goes "Tick tock woof!"?
A watch dog!

Doctor! Doctor! I feel like a bridge!
Whatever has come over you?

What's yellow and stupid?
Thick custard!

I know a man with a wooden leg called Smith.
What was his other leg called?

Why does a frog never tell the truth?
Because it's an amfibian!

What's got fifty legs but still can't walk?
Half a centipede!

What's purple, sits in a tree and screams for help?
A damson in distress!

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A quick joke for a wet weekend

What's red and sits in the corner?
A naughty bus!

We've lots of joke books in our libraries!